blank. My mind is a total blank. [church chior sings] hallelujia!
If Rufus craves cigarettes and chocolate milk, what do i crave. Below you will find my list of cravings:
1. pina coladas
2. coke*
3. Summer rain
4. nakedness(not naughty nakendess, just lying wrapped up after a shower in your bed nakedness) so get your mind out of the gutter!
5. totinos pizza
6. the awkward after the first date, don't really know what is going on feeling.
7. bubble baths....ahhh...
8. home.
9. boxing
10. the smell of irish spring
11. red wine
12. nintendo, preferably Mario Bros.
13. chocolate cake with white icing
14. tres leches
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Monday, October 22, 2007
Risk Avoidance
Experiment No. 1--RED vs GRAY:
Control: Me
Variable: Life and the people I bring into it.
Summary: As I sit on the steps of a random apartment complex, that may I add had hallways that smelled of beer and dog piss, talking on the phone to a friend, waiting patiently for my friend to get home with and unopened bottle of wine, he walked by. He was big Irish ball of cuteness. He had this blondish, redish,brownish hair. A slightly crooked smile. Perfect forearms and calves. And he walked by me. I followed him up with my eyes and somewhere between the steps and the front door of his apartment I did something about it. I knocked on his door. He answered. I asked for a wine opener and invited him to join me for a cup of wine. He pointing to 2 very large guys, said "I can't. I have to take the kids home." hmmmmm..... interesting. So instead he came opened my wine and poured me a glass. I introduced myself never to learn his name. As I returned his glass to his apartment I left a note with my number and invited him for a margarita that night. Still no name. That Irish boy, though, with out knowing opened more doors in my upcoming life than he will ever know.
_______
Cut to 6 months later. Triathalon here I come. I began running(by running I mean slow jog). I found myself eating better. I found myself taking care of me emotionally and physically. Because for the first time, no one around me mattered. I moved to Houston on my own. I would make it on my own. I would make it without the help of anyone else. Twenty five would be my year. Two cheeseburgers, 3 laps around Memorial, 2 bottles of wine, 2 pasta dishes, 3 Fireman's No. 4, 1 scrambled egg and cheese, 4 chicken pitas, 2 rainbows, one drive home, and that was the end I just never knew. It was August 3 when I would get the real reality check. The independence I had known for so long would come to a screeching hault. So in two months I would very quickly learn that it is the people you try like hell to push out of your life so hard that you need the most. Had it not been for a boy that I wanted more than anything but needed the least entering my life I would not have looked up and seen the hope. He didn't break my heart. He didn't give me any great insight into love. He distracted me from everything. He took the sting out of what would normally be a very bitter situation. He didn't make any hurt go away. He did not treat me better than anyone else. I am not really sure that he did anything special. But that is just it. He was normal. And then he was gone. And that my friend made him exactly what I needed. He was me as a boy. He was the risk I avoided. He was exactly what I didn't need. I still had experimenting to do. I was the control in this experiment and I had to move to the next one.
So here I am. Better. Happier. Still hoping for my bliss that lies somewhere between my desires and needs. Still hoping for home. Still me unchanged.
Conclusion: So when my phone rings in the middle of the night and my momma yells whatcha gonna do with your life. Oh mamma don't you know that you are still number one, but girls just wanna have fun, ohhh girls they want to have fun.
Control: Me
Variable: Life and the people I bring into it.
Summary: As I sit on the steps of a random apartment complex, that may I add had hallways that smelled of beer and dog piss, talking on the phone to a friend, waiting patiently for my friend to get home with and unopened bottle of wine, he walked by. He was big Irish ball of cuteness. He had this blondish, redish,brownish hair. A slightly crooked smile. Perfect forearms and calves. And he walked by me. I followed him up with my eyes and somewhere between the steps and the front door of his apartment I did something about it. I knocked on his door. He answered. I asked for a wine opener and invited him to join me for a cup of wine. He pointing to 2 very large guys, said "I can't. I have to take the kids home." hmmmmm..... interesting. So instead he came opened my wine and poured me a glass. I introduced myself never to learn his name. As I returned his glass to his apartment I left a note with my number and invited him for a margarita that night. Still no name. That Irish boy, though, with out knowing opened more doors in my upcoming life than he will ever know.
_______
Cut to 6 months later. Triathalon here I come. I began running(by running I mean slow jog). I found myself eating better. I found myself taking care of me emotionally and physically. Because for the first time, no one around me mattered. I moved to Houston on my own. I would make it on my own. I would make it without the help of anyone else. Twenty five would be my year. Two cheeseburgers, 3 laps around Memorial, 2 bottles of wine, 2 pasta dishes, 3 Fireman's No. 4, 1 scrambled egg and cheese, 4 chicken pitas, 2 rainbows, one drive home, and that was the end I just never knew. It was August 3 when I would get the real reality check. The independence I had known for so long would come to a screeching hault. So in two months I would very quickly learn that it is the people you try like hell to push out of your life so hard that you need the most. Had it not been for a boy that I wanted more than anything but needed the least entering my life I would not have looked up and seen the hope. He didn't break my heart. He didn't give me any great insight into love. He distracted me from everything. He took the sting out of what would normally be a very bitter situation. He didn't make any hurt go away. He did not treat me better than anyone else. I am not really sure that he did anything special. But that is just it. He was normal. And then he was gone. And that my friend made him exactly what I needed. He was me as a boy. He was the risk I avoided. He was exactly what I didn't need. I still had experimenting to do. I was the control in this experiment and I had to move to the next one.
So here I am. Better. Happier. Still hoping for my bliss that lies somewhere between my desires and needs. Still hoping for home. Still me unchanged.
Conclusion: So when my phone rings in the middle of the night and my momma yells whatcha gonna do with your life. Oh mamma don't you know that you are still number one, but girls just wanna have fun, ohhh girls they want to have fun.
Posted by
Artichoke
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Don't want to be no superman, I just want to do the best I can
Disclaimer: The names of this story have been changed to protect the guilty and the birds.
___
The mysery has been solved. There were no love quarrells between the white collared businessmen on the 11 and 12th floor. There were no thrown diamonds. There was not even as much as a modern day water gate on the 7th floor that went terrible wrong when the Spanish Mafia came in with wooden baseball bats knocken out windows as if they are pinatas filled with tequila and limes...friends it was none of these.
So please, sit back, relax and wait as I tell you the story of the broken window that fell on top of my car.
____
As the gentlemen comes up to my office to get my info, as the building is obvioiusly paying for the repairs to my car, we decide to go take a look at the damage. I get in the first set of elevators to go down....I look at Mr. Building engineer as he is on the phone with the landscaping people telling them theat the grass on the east side needs color. He needs a proposal for this asap. Okay so he is off the phone now.
I ask him if they have any idea as to what could have caused the window to break. He tells me and I quote, "Probably just a little bird flew into it." Now I understand that maybe a bird flew into the building and may have caused a crack, but I feel bad for the bird as this "little" bird caused an 18x24 sheet of glass that is 1/8" if not more thick to fall out of a building. Where is the bird? The bird needs medical attention asap.
___
The mysery has been solved. There were no love quarrells between the white collared businessmen on the 11 and 12th floor. There were no thrown diamonds. There was not even as much as a modern day water gate on the 7th floor that went terrible wrong when the Spanish Mafia came in with wooden baseball bats knocken out windows as if they are pinatas filled with tequila and limes...friends it was none of these.
So please, sit back, relax and wait as I tell you the story of the broken window that fell on top of my car.
____
As the gentlemen comes up to my office to get my info, as the building is obvioiusly paying for the repairs to my car, we decide to go take a look at the damage. I get in the first set of elevators to go down....I look at Mr. Building engineer as he is on the phone with the landscaping people telling them theat the grass on the east side needs color. He needs a proposal for this asap. Okay so he is off the phone now.
I ask him if they have any idea as to what could have caused the window to break. He tells me and I quote, "Probably just a little bird flew into it." Now I understand that maybe a bird flew into the building and may have caused a crack, but I feel bad for the bird as this "little" bird caused an 18x24 sheet of glass that is 1/8" if not more thick to fall out of a building. Where is the bird? The bird needs medical attention asap.
Posted by
Artichoke
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Santa Claus, True Love, and Jesus
Disclaimer: The title of this post, Santa Claus, True Love, and Jesus, is just the title of the song I am listening to at the moment, but I do indeed believe in all three. I believe that Mofro, the creative geniouses behind this song are amazing. So if you are looking for some great front porch soul, check them out.
The events I am about to disclose are just the one of the many stories of bad luck that I have had with my car in the past 2 months, but this is indeed the most entertaining.
_____________________________________________________
October 16, 2007-
So....I am on the phone as I am leaving work yesterday and get in my car. On the phone is important as anyone that knows me...I get so consumed in my conversation and I choose not to pay attention to the world around me. I get in my car and drive off. As I make my way around the spiral down ramp I here something rolling around, a lot of something rolling around. I am baffled as I just got back from a meeting 3 hours ago and this mystery sound was not there. I am looking around in my car, thinking well I don't see anything. It sounded like marbles rolling around on a hard surface. I am now saying every curse word to myself thinking my car is once again broken. Then it happens--tiny pieces of glass come raining down my front windshield. I think, next time a see a place to pull over I am, because waiting till I make it 2 miles to my new closer home that takes me 10 minutes to get to in the afternoon is just to far and too long for this mystery to be left unsolved. Ahhhh a stop light.....break---this is the Woodway/610 stop light....it lasts forever, this would at least give me time to see if I accidentally left my cup of water on top of the car for the glass to break. PS...I am not a good detective because the glass, was in my cup holder, unbroken. I look on top of my car to see it sporadically covered in what looks to be a shattered mirror.
Side note: 1. Broken Mirror = 7 years bad luck and it is all over my car.
+
2. Fortune cookie night before= Life gets harder near the summit.
=
3. I don't need a broken mirror or a fortune cookie to team up on me now!
I am officially convinced the universe is dooming me to a lifetime of no luck at all!
Back to the story: I think to myself, "Why would there be shattered mirror all over the top of my car. hmmmm...thinking...thinking...well the widows in my building are mirrored. I was parked in an uncovered spot as someone stole my spot. Oh my goodness, a window from my building broke and hit my car!" Yes that is exactly how it went through my head and then I though, "Whitney you cracked the case!" So I call the management office, but they had already closed. Which meant, I had a night to run the possibilities of what happened.
My favorite scenario: a twisted love triangle between the CEO on the 12th floor and the Lawyers wife on the 11th floor leading to one of those office trysts you see on bad TV. Things were being thrown and the Lawyer came in ripped the 10 karat canary diamond ring that he had just bought for his wife at a bazaar in Central America off the wife's had and threw it with so much force that it shattered the window and fell on top of my car....not so much...only glass no diamonds. Sadness.
October 17, 2007-
As I am pulling into the parking garage, I ask the buildings friendly maintenance man if a window broke yesterday. He looks at me with a puzzled face. "No. Why?" I explain and he says that he will come take a look. I am driving up the ramp thinking, man I am a crappy detective. What in the world could be all over my car? As I am walking to the elevator friendly maintenence man comes out with the new owner of the building I assume as he was talking about the building as if had built it with his own hands(his appearance is a story for another day, lets just say huge 10-gallon hat and jeans that were so tight in certain areas they left little to the imagination and nothing to be desired. He even had one of those neck things that is a leather braided string and a metal piece. Welcome to Texas, Whitney.) We look around at the glass that is all over the parking lot and I show them the top of my car. We look up and see nothing. (here is where I imagine alien space ships throwing things at my car because obviously this glass fell from the heavens.) Then as we look on the corner of the building we see a chunk piece of glass missing from a window. That piece about 18x24 fell on top of my car and shattered. My car...what are the odds.
The events I am about to disclose are just the one of the many stories of bad luck that I have had with my car in the past 2 months, but this is indeed the most entertaining.
_____________________________________________________
October 16, 2007-
So....I am on the phone as I am leaving work yesterday and get in my car. On the phone is important as anyone that knows me...I get so consumed in my conversation and I choose not to pay attention to the world around me. I get in my car and drive off. As I make my way around the spiral down ramp I here something rolling around, a lot of something rolling around. I am baffled as I just got back from a meeting 3 hours ago and this mystery sound was not there. I am looking around in my car, thinking well I don't see anything. It sounded like marbles rolling around on a hard surface. I am now saying every curse word to myself thinking my car is once again broken. Then it happens--tiny pieces of glass come raining down my front windshield. I think, next time a see a place to pull over I am, because waiting till I make it 2 miles to my new closer home that takes me 10 minutes to get to in the afternoon is just to far and too long for this mystery to be left unsolved. Ahhhh a stop light.....break---this is the Woodway/610 stop light....it lasts forever, this would at least give me time to see if I accidentally left my cup of water on top of the car for the glass to break. PS...I am not a good detective because the glass, was in my cup holder, unbroken. I look on top of my car to see it sporadically covered in what looks to be a shattered mirror.
Side note: 1. Broken Mirror = 7 years bad luck and it is all over my car.
+
2. Fortune cookie night before= Life gets harder near the summit.
=
3. I don't need a broken mirror or a fortune cookie to team up on me now!
I am officially convinced the universe is dooming me to a lifetime of no luck at all!
Back to the story: I think to myself, "Why would there be shattered mirror all over the top of my car. hmmmm...thinking...thinking...well the widows in my building are mirrored. I was parked in an uncovered spot as someone stole my spot. Oh my goodness, a window from my building broke and hit my car!" Yes that is exactly how it went through my head and then I though, "Whitney you cracked the case!" So I call the management office, but they had already closed. Which meant, I had a night to run the possibilities of what happened.
My favorite scenario: a twisted love triangle between the CEO on the 12th floor and the Lawyers wife on the 11th floor leading to one of those office trysts you see on bad TV. Things were being thrown and the Lawyer came in ripped the 10 karat canary diamond ring that he had just bought for his wife at a bazaar in Central America off the wife's had and threw it with so much force that it shattered the window and fell on top of my car....not so much...only glass no diamonds. Sadness.
October 17, 2007-
As I am pulling into the parking garage, I ask the buildings friendly maintenance man if a window broke yesterday. He looks at me with a puzzled face. "No. Why?" I explain and he says that he will come take a look. I am driving up the ramp thinking, man I am a crappy detective. What in the world could be all over my car? As I am walking to the elevator friendly maintenence man comes out with the new owner of the building I assume as he was talking about the building as if had built it with his own hands(his appearance is a story for another day, lets just say huge 10-gallon hat and jeans that were so tight in certain areas they left little to the imagination and nothing to be desired. He even had one of those neck things that is a leather braided string and a metal piece. Welcome to Texas, Whitney.) We look around at the glass that is all over the parking lot and I show them the top of my car. We look up and see nothing. (here is where I imagine alien space ships throwing things at my car because obviously this glass fell from the heavens.) Then as we look on the corner of the building we see a chunk piece of glass missing from a window. That piece about 18x24 fell on top of my car and shattered. My car...what are the odds.
Posted by
Artichoke
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Read me the letter, Don't leave out a word...
I have lived my life waiting for my story to be told, methodically plotting my life for a tale of literary romance that borders on serendipitous drama and a grace that can only come from falling flat on my face. I like to hear myself tell stories of things that would never happen but happened to me because I have lived to feed on the unimaginable. It is only recently that I have realized that these things that have happened are not so unimaginable. My life is a tale of broken hearts, money spent, and alcohol consumed, yet, somehow never veering from what I see as the ordinary. In the words of Tom Petty, “Some days are diamonds. Some days are rocks." I am not a writer. I am merely a “conversational puma,” a rambler, a girl of her twenties who wants her story told in one fashion or another. A girl of her twenties who is looking for home, life, and stories to tell. I am a girl of her twenties.
Posted by
Artichoke
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